3:15 PM -- I yield to no one -- man nor monkey -- in my gustatory enthusiasm for sausage in all its manifestations. But, like all right-thinking people, I hold to two (2) rules when it comes to this tubular treat:

#1: Don't tell me what's in it.
#2: See #1.

Alas, some officious busybody has wilfully flouted common decency and spilled the byproducts at The Independent Website.

It seems she's trying to spoil the sport of British Sausage Week, which kicked off yesterday:

Organised by pig farmers in the British Pig Executive, the week comprises fun activities for schoolchildren, a competition to find the greatest sausage sandwich and promotional kits for butchers and caterers.

Please! Someone think of the children! Will you deprive them of the festive Sausage Toss? The always popular Banger Roll? And what of Hide the Wurst? We shall discreetly pass over the ingredients, but let it be noted:

By law, sausages must be 30 per cent meat. Although sausages can contain a range of meats from venison to veal, some 83 per cent of sausages sold in the UK are pork. And pork sausages must be 42 per cent meat for them to be labelled as such.

But this is where it gets a little tricky: what counts as "meat"?

Indeed. We'll leave that eternal conundrum to the British Pig Executive.



— Larry, Pork-Fed Monkey, Light Reading