Well, it's Friday, so it must be time for a another dead pet story.

Yes indeedy, the number of suspicious pet fatalities linked to past and present editors of Unstrung just keeps rising.

Dan Jones, senior editor of everyone's favorite wireless news site, found a dead rooster in the backyard of his swanky new Brooklyn apartment when he returned home from work one night this week. The carcass may even have been beheaded, as if in some grotesque occult ritual, Jones says.

Unfortunately, the bespectacled one couldn't accurately judge the cause of death, too overwhelmed by the corpse's mephitic stench to perform a thorough autopsy. Instead, he stuffed the putrid poultry into a black plastic bag and unceremoniously tossed it in the garbage.

The gracefully balding (yet still vivacious!) editor denies any part in the creature's unfortunate demise, even though he admits to cursing the cock's name as it crowed all bloody night long! Instead, he tried to blame his sweet and innocent cat, Lucy, who clearly had no part in the carnage.

Oddly, this is not the first incident in which an Unstrung editor has been implicated in the suspicious death of a pet. Consider the strange case of Ray Le Maistre's hamster, which also kicked the bucket under unexplained circumstances (see Hamster Bites Man).

Coincidence, Dear Readers? Or something more?

— Larry, Monkey -- Help me! -- Light Reading