For What It's Worth

HIGH NOON -- Today we bring you this PSA (Panic-Stoking Announcement) from the University of Georgia:

    A new study by researchers at the Center for Mass Destruction Defense (CMADD) at the University of Georgia details the catastrophic impact a nuclear attack would have on American cities...
The conclusion? It'd be real bad.

    “The likelihood of a nuclear weapon attack in an American city is steadily increasing, and the consequences will be overwhelming” said Cham Dallas, CMADD director and professor in the UGA College of Pharmacy. “So we need to substantially increase our preparation.”
Professor of Pharmacy? Whatever...
    One intervention is to mount a public awareness campaign to teach civilians what to do in the event of a nuclear attack. Since radioactive plumes move downwind, a person can look up at the trees to see which way the wind is blowing and then flee perpendicular to the wind.
That sounds like a plan. Or, better yet, just cover your head with a newspaper.

In a totally unrelated story, UPI reports:

    The U.S. Department of Homeland Security is setting up its new HQ in a former lunatic asylum.

    The DHS says it will consolidate most of the 60 offices it has across the Washington, D.C. region into a single new headquarters building.

    The $3 billion move will begin in 2011, according to a plan prepared by the DHS, once a new building is ready in the grounds of the former mental hospital, St. Elizabeth's.
— Larry, Civil Defense Monkey, Light Reading

Be the first to post a comment regarding this story.
Sign In