2005 Top Ten: Monkey Business
It's been quite a year for Light Reading's message boarders. We've seen the usual bannings, spammings, sniping, and a little something from Juniper Networks Inc. (NYSE: JNPR) no one was expecting. (See Juniper Sues LR Message Boarders and Juniper Complaint.)
Accounts were deactivated and posts were deleted but -- if you've got the intestinal fortitude for it -- the Juniper-related musings live on in a six-page complaint. Reactions have been strong. But what's worth noting is how Juniper has stirred up an existential stew. Should I post on a story about message board posters being sued? Where does the message board end and where do I begin? Have you heard about Tom Evslin? He's writing a novel:
1: If you haven't seen it yet, Tom Evslin (former ceo of ITXC) is serializing a blog/book. He's using message board posts on the fictional company as a comical narrative device, like a shakespearean fool.
2: I want to know how he could physically have spent that much in one night. Even if he had a group of people. Think about it. and not in a sexual way - i just mean literally how could a group of people even buy enough lap dances and drinks to run a tab like that in one night?
3: I am certainly not an expert on this but the possibility that life on earth orginated by quantum level entities attaching themselves to molecules does seem rather outlandish.
4: The definition of stupidity spreading is LR making money based on keeping blogs for conceded idiots posing as animals that dispense their "morals" on an unsuspecting telecom readership... WOULD LR PLEASE PROVIDE AN IGNORE AUTHOR OPTION THAT WOULD APPLY TO LARRY AND RED [Panda]?
5: And how do you think "we" managed to crawl out of the ooze? "We" got 90% of the way there, without a backbone, 99% of the way there without legs. etc.
6: I have been laid off at X-mas too, more than once! Have't [sic] you? I got over it. Get used to it.
Like all great message board threads, there is a moment when it goes off the rails. You can either pull back or you can just keep going. When you open the gates, it's just what happens. So here, for your perusal, are two such examples. One contemplates the greatest motivating factor for technological advancement -- porn:
- 7: I think Porn is a godsend for this industry; it is one of the true business success models of the internet, preceding Ebay, Amazon and Google. It helps to generate jobs in the industry by using vast amounts of bandwidth to send and resend jpgs via emails. Now that broadband is becoming more prevalent, the porn industry is stepping up to plate and putting streaming video on many websites, further bolstering bandwidth requirements.
We were all thinkin' it. And then, there's the nonsequitur. The cure for global warming has been found:
8: The solution to all these is simple -- deploy
channelized SONET. Don't ask me why.
And here is a weary prediction of the future:
- 9: AOL, like Blockbuster, is a dinosaurs [sic] that will die because it cannot innovate fast enough.
Before dropping off the grid for the remainder of the year, we'd like to offer you a few parting words to grow on:
- 10: [M]ost companies have learned to live with message boards and simply grown a thick skin, and know that -- as someone else appropriately stated -- people regard comments in message boards as graffiti.
That said, we'd like to offer our humble thanks to all of you out there on the Internet -- it rulz, apparently -- who have contributed to these and many other discussions. Let's hope no one gets sued in 2006. Actually...
Happy New Year, everyone! Don't go down without a fight!
— Larry, Attack Monkey, Light Reading