Following the over-indulgence of the festive period, this is the right time of year to know about PumpOne -- corporate slogan, "Let's Get Pumping!" -- as it provides "a portable training program for color screen iPods, Treos and other handheld devices."
Apparently, it's "like having an elite personal trainer" on your portable device.
How did I manage without one?
Now the company has a new service -- PumpOne Mobile. This new development is particularly great, because it means "Cell Phones Just Got Healthy." Just how unhealthy PumpOne thinks they have been up to now isn't specified.
Anyhoo, listen up, all you lard-arses, because PumpOne Mobile will revolutionize the way you use your mobile phone. Oh yes.
What happens is that you trade in your lovely, slim mobile phone for an early 1990s-style handset that's the size, and weight, of a brick, and then you get really fit carrying it about!
The new service "offers the first complete visual personal training workout programs for cell phones making it possible to instantly receive expert fitness advice, wherever you are and whenever you want it."
That'll be nowhere, and never.
Now, who wants extra mozarella on their cheese feast?
— Ray Le Maistre, Workout and Diets Editor, Light Reading