5:00 AM -- The English are a peculiar bunch: Always moaning about the weather; always queuing, often for no reason; and wearing socks with sandals.

And along with such behavior comes an almost insane dedication to the finer points of British cuisine. Such as the exact size for meat-filled pastries to be eaten during the 'World Pie Eating Championship' next month in Wigan (up north).

And it's not just about the size, reports the British Broadcasting Corp. (BBC) .

"These pies have to be top quality," Tony Callaghan of Harry's Bar, where the contest will take place, told the Beeb. "We don't want the cream cracker factor resulted in a dry mouth and therefore what we would term a 'swallow-stall', nor do we want a filling that is over-absorbent and therefore provokes spongification in competitors' bellies thereby delivering premature digestive over-capacity."

He added, majestically: "A pie that is too crumbly will produce a contest that could result in facial spillage and thereby short-weight consumption -- and loss of credibility in the eyes of the world's gastronomes."

You simply must read the complete article, The Science of Pie.

— Ray Le Maistre, International Pastry Editor, Light Reading