Verizon Attacks Old Folks

1:15 PM -- At least that's the headline in Mobile Magazine. But in reality, realizing that people are now living longer than they should, Verizon is creating a cellphone plan tailored specially for old people.

If you're old and dusty (over 65) you can get a plan with 200 anytime minutes, 500 night and weekend minutes, and unlimited mobile-to-mobile calling for $30 a month. [Ed. note: How much for immobile-to-immobile?] There is no Web access, text messaging, or caller ID.

It's a cheap plan, but not cheap enough for the cheap old people in my life. My 81-year-old grandpa still has a rotary phone in his house. He has never paid for Internet access in the five years he has owned a computer, which my mother bought for him against his wishes. (He switches back and forth between 30-day free trials of dialup service.)

He only has a cellphone because my aunt bought it for him and pays the bill for it. He only turns it on to make calls, usually from his car telling me where he is. (Hello Ray, I'm in the car and on the phone. Hi Grandpa, no kidding.) Even better is when he calls me and gets my voicemail. He'll leave a polite message asking me to call back, which I never bother doing because I know he's already turned the phone off since hanging up. I don't find it necessary to dial him and go straight to the maxed out voicemail that I can't leave a message on since he doesn't know how to check it.

So nice try Verizon, but if old people are anything like my dear old grandpa, you're just shouting at deaf ears. Literally.

— Raymond McConville, Reporter, Light Reading

PetPanda 12/5/2012 | 3:03:07 PM
re: Verizon Attacks Old Folks Yeah, this seems like a useless target audience. When we had to start using area codes to dial within my neighborhood, my grandmother stopped using her house phone. She was also convinced that everyone else was equally as confused and would follow suit and nobody in all of Queens would ever receive a phone call again.
OldPOTS 12/5/2012 | 3:03:06 PM
re: Verizon Attacks Old Folks That's why I am confused.

paolo.franzoi 12/5/2012 | 3:03:06 PM
re: Verizon Attacks Old Folks
Then again my Mom makes websites and is 75.

Depends on the person I would say.

Raymond McConville 12/5/2012 | 3:03:04 PM
re: Verizon Attacks Old Folks That's an impressive story my furry neighbor, but did your grandma still use the alpha-numeric method of saying someone's phone number? My old old man still tells people that his number is Sycamore-x-xxxx.
paolo.franzoi 12/5/2012 | 3:03:03 PM
re: Verizon Attacks Old Folks
We were Myrtle 5 - xxxx on an 8 party line. We shared the ring with the local town drunk and demolition expert. He drove an old Green Ford Pickup with signs saying: "Danger - Explosives" at 25 mph down the center of whatever roads he was on. He used to celebrate the 4th of July by "killing mosquitos" in the swamp with quarter sticks of dynamite.

chrismerrick 12/5/2012 | 3:03:01 PM
re: Verizon Attacks Old Folks When I worked in a carrier we proved in research that there is a direct statistical correlation between age and how often you have your cellphone turned on. I now point this out to my more 'seasoned' family members and strangely enough they now keep their phones on more.
Raymond McConville 12/5/2012 | 3:03:00 PM
re: Verizon Attacks Old Folks I guess there's no point in keeping your cell phone on when you can't hear it anyway.
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