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Optical/IP

Merry Making

1:00 PM -- From The Philter's PR Flop Sweat file, a little pitch from the peacocks at Nadel Phalen about how something as wonky as ISO certification and something as sacred as marriage are really not as dissimilar as one might think:

ISO 9001:2000 certification and Redknee make a very romantic marriage proposal for mobile carriers...

Unfortunately, there are no certifications for spousal quality control. It's too bad you can't measure a person's quality the same way as ISO 9001:2000 measures a company's imagine defining, validating and measuring your spouse's compliance on "work" processes, or marriage processes -- money, intimacy, cleaning, cooking, kids, the whole shebang -- according to project/household management, satisfaction, and quality. Not only now, but with checks and balances throughout its life span, and with the insurance that it will improve over time. 'Til death do us part.

The same goes for business, of course -- mobile carriers that are looking for a good provider of infrastructure software can feel good about tying the knot with Redknee. After all, they've proven that they're worth it. Redknee has the business processes in place that will ensure customer satisfaction and a relationship filled with promises that WILL be kept. Not only that, but their effort into the relationship will keep working, keep improving, and keep asking, "Honey, is it good for you? What can I do to improve?" Communication is key! Redknee not only knows how to communicate, but provides the infrastructure for communication in the first place.

And so, just when you thought marriage and ISO certifications both sounded like boring contracts, Redknee has dropped to its knees with a big fat "I love you, I'll listen, and honey, our relationship is just gonna get better!" Now that Redknee has been awarded the ISO 9001:2000 certification, carriers can be sure they've found a quality partner..

You finished cringing yet?

Me neither.

My two cents: The company should change its name from Redknee Inc. (Toronto TSX: RKN) to Redface. Taking a boring topic and wrapping it in a bizarre analogy doesn't make the topic any less boring.

What it does do is add to the argument that PR contractors should be subject to frequent, random drug tests. But that's another topic for another day.

— Phil Harvey, Love Hurts Editor, Light Reading

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