9:50 AM -- If you're in a cold sweat over the scarcity of IPv4 addresses -- and I know I am -- then Matt McCloskey, head of Applications & Services at Virgin Media Business Ltd. , is the man with the soothing damp cloth with which to mop your furrowed brow.

McCloskey, in a code red e-mail distributed to the technology media, is urging calm, and says there is NO NEED TO PANIC!!!

"It's important that both businesses and the public realise that despite recent reports, the 'IPcalypse' is not nigh and the Internet isn't about to topple over."

And relax...

"The media furore..." -- see Light Reading Launches IPv6 2011 Conference, You Won't Find IPv4 Numbers on eBay, Global IPv4 Counter Hits Zero and An IPv4 Address Ate My Hamster -- "...isn't helpful and my concern is that it's going to lead to bulk buying of the final IPv4 addresses -- a bit like stocking up on groceries before a major storm hits and clearing your local supermarket out of tinned goods."

Tinned goods? Don't you mean bottles of vino collapso?

I'm sorry. Back to the serious stuff...

"Even with the recent speculation surrounding IPv4 addresses running out, we have yet to see real customer demand for IPv6. We are advising UK businesses not to panic. They will not suddenly be 'switched off' if they stay on IPv4, nor will the new addresses create an 'old' and 'new' Internet experience. Like Y2K, the impact of IPv6 has been widely exaggerated. The great thing about the Internet is [etc etc]... of course, we would always recommend the efficient use of IP addresses."

And always remember to look both ways before you cross the road.

— Ray Le Maistre, International Managing Editor, Light Reading