2004 Top Ten: Monkey Business

Light Reading
News Analysis
Light Reading
12/31/2004



This year's Monkey Business follows some very familiar (not to say "tired") themes: xenophobia, paranoia, Light Reading's ever-declining credibility, and wild speculation about Tony Li's state of employment.

Speaking of Mr. Li, and we were, even he dropped some clues about his frame of mind in June, long before he was officially pronounced a Cisco employee (again). (See Tony Li Returns to Cisco.) Thus, wrote the Ton-ster:

    1: Indeed, without someone who could actually sell something, it would be another futile (but fun!) development project. No thanks.

How did we not see that coming?

While we're on the subject of looking back, the infamous BobbyMax was banned from the boards this year, but he went out guns-a-blazin' before we "deactivated" him. Note this cheerful post on immigration, Germany, and nuclear weapons:

    2: There are no room for immigrants in the US. There are no jobs. The country broke. The US government has allowed the US companies to settle in China and India without any tax consequences. It has further allowed the companies to “Made in USA” tag deceiving customers all over the world. Technically advanced countries such as France, Russia, Germany, and Sweden etc. have accomplished a lot without importing foreign workers. Immigrants from Germany helped the US a lot in developing nuclear and space technology. Germany did not develop nuclear and space technology by using migrant workers from any other country.
Germany has nukes?! Holy moly, Marge! Grab the kids! We're movin' to Frostbite Falls! Where Rocky and Bullwinkle are still arguing about the SAN market:
    3: Ahhh! Bullwinkle, it's an angry Venture Capitalist!
Ahhh, indeed.

But forget Frostbite Falls: We touched a nerve with several folks when we noted in one story that -- surprise! -- not everyone wants to live in Naperville, Illinois. This truth simply did not sit well with some:

    4: I'm not claiming that Naperville is the greatest place on earth, but… The library system has been rated one of the best in the nation the past five years for a community over 100,000.


The library system? Say no more! I'm packing up now.

Other messages from this year were even more confrontational. This one has to be one of the earliest citations of "ass clown" on the site. Also, it contains this immortal, if ungrammatical, line:
    5: I'm not a pumper, your a basher.


Speaking of bashers (not pumpers), we noted that this message was probably the best response to corporate spin of any we've seen this year:
    6: Maybe we should all just pick up and move to India -- at least when you believe in Bull over there its in keeping with the local custom.


Of course, marketing guys aren't the only ones who take abuse just for doing their jobs. We get called names, too:
    7: Huber has made moves as the CEO of this public company, but since you personally hate him, you paint anything he does in the way that fits your agenda. Talk about sponsoring a flamboyant and irresponsible approach to news reporting -- yollow journalism indeed!


Hard to believe a Corvis fan wrote the above, isn't it? They're usually such calm, reasonable folks. But not us. We are editors. We are yollow. We are ill-informed:
    8: Are you a professor, an editor or a politican? No one else could be more ill-informed.


How would one know that we are ill-informed? You have to trust the expurts:
    9: George Gildur and FoxNews KNOW whats really going on with this one.


We know what's really going on. We know that some folks can't stand the fact that the Tachion Networks message board is still alive and getting posts.
    10: Give it up! Umm - just in case nobody told you, the company closed 3 years ago!


Point taken. Even when the same point was mistakenly posted on a Cisco message board.

Thank you, as always, for your posts. Without you, we'd be forced to cut costs and move to Naperville. But then, we could at least inform ourselves at their splendid public library.

Happy New Year, my brethren -- and keep flingin' it!

— Larry, Attack Monkey, Light Reading

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