2003 Top Ten: Monkey Business

Monkey Business (or Bidness as we say here in the trailer park) designates some of the more noteworthy messages flung onto our boards or secreted into our inbox. As such, I, Larry, consider it rather an insult to my simian brethren and sistern. But, in the Spirit o' the Season, I shall let that pass...

The predominant theme of the year was, sadly enough, xenophobia – i.e., furriner bashing. But, hey, with hostility levels what they are in the world, it seems to be the Zeitgeist, as our German friends say. We first stirred up the monkeys with our July article, Workers Oppose H-1B Bill . This sparked an uncivil war of words, especially between the Chinese and the Indians. Typical of the elevated tone of debate:

    1: Your arguments are pure giberish and represent your ignorance of American culture in general and the American education system specifically.

    2: Go change your knickers jepo, you're starting to stink up the joint.
The following reasoned rejoinder came via the electronic-mail service:

    3: Your hate agenda agianst Indinas have gone too far. Pary that no one gets killed by your actions or be ready to face the crominal justice system. Shut down your buddy Bobymax since you will cause deaths of some Indians otherwise by his message of hate and unaulterated racism. Do not claim later that you were not warned.
    Dandy Gandy
No relation to Mohandas K., we presume. Still waiting to hear from Goosey Lucy. Regards.

Heedlessly adding to the ethnic Gallimaufry, our story of August 8, Foreign Worker Poll Points to Paradox, again brought out the crème de la crème (to borrow a term from our French amis):

    4: Those who oppose the current move of software jobs overseas are leaches who have no right to call themselves American… These whiners and complainers sound just like a bunch of communist bigots…
Ooooh! We hates them communist bigots! But they do come up with a sensible idea now and then:

    5: I submit to send congressmen's jobs overseas or fill them with H1B Indian workers. You'll see something done then.
But enough of ethnic hatred! Let's talk about good ol' 100% American hatred! This triumph of the elocutionist's art comes from the Lucent Message Board:

    6: Greetings Gentelmen,
    I was under the pertinant assumption that this message board was full of intellecutal and kind discussions topics. I was fretfully wrong.
    Leadership is keey to a companies leading and it's destiny. Henry and Pat and the rest of the board are paid what they are paid becuase the market dictates that pay. WHy would you work for 20K if another company would pay 40K? Do you get it yet?
    That is why Lucent has the best leadership team in the business and possible the most underpaid consider the market and the difficulties facing the industry and Lucent itself.
    I have mentioned the Dorothy and Tinman projects and there are others that are going to make Lucent a winner again and again. If you hate lucent you won't believe anything I say anyway.
    Larry the queen and others keep your personal jack-macker comments to your ugly selves. Stop the hate!
Stop the stupidity! Lucent's winning in the Land of Oz? Well, jolt my jack-macker! The Lucent Board is up to 1,877 entries so far, some of which are truly intellecutal and kind. Still, the Lucifers have got nothing on the Corvisian Brothers, which are at 5,232 and still metastasizing. Let's listen in, shall we?

    7: I dont have time for basic education. I suggest you go to the CORVIS web-site and learn about all optical networking and how it will change things.
    Answering your question briefly, your phone, your PC and your router all all OBSOLETE. Its caveman technology now and its all going to be thrown away in the optical revolution which the better informed know is already going on.
    SBC's capital equipment is worthless. Verizon might as well have a giant garage sale to get rid of all their class-5 switches and other obsolete stuff. Its game over for legacy. Their only hope is to get on the LIGHT bandwagon before its too late.
    The ship is sailing. Your either on it or your left behind.
    And to the moaners in the peanut gallery, I'm answering a question that someone ASKED. So don't complain about me talking about LIGHT too much. There is obviously interest.
    (And while we are at it, why dont you fanatics worry about the boosterism for Foundry on this Corvis board).
Well. At least it admits it hasn't had time for basic education. Now this guy, responding to one of our most talked about stories, Calix: First in Liquid Refreshment, clearly has:

    8: I made my lawn tractor decision based on the cupholder. How else was I supposed to drink my beer while mowing the lawn.
Party on dude! And, please, share the mirth with this "very frustrated salesman" who emails us from FoCos (be careful how you pronounce that) Optix:

    9: Apparently most fiberoptic engineers think ALL sales people are slimy, slug-like leeches that sell swamp land, snake-oil and used cars. Do they think the sales people that work for their companies are just as slimy? If it weren't for sales people, THEY would be looking for a job... or worse yet, trying to SELL something.
Heaven forfend, my slug-like friends! I hope none of you is looking for a job or trying to sell something. If you are, don't call.

So that's all the noisesome news for 2003. Only nine, you say? I'll tell you what...

Upside_again 12/4/2012 | 11:08:52 PM
re: 2003 Top Ten: Monkey Business It's a good thing we can all look back at 2003 and laugh? at the many posts via a monkey perspective. LR (and bobby max) you are the top bannana boyz !!!

Let's hope 2004 brings many many more "good" jobs (for all) while we hopefully see the industy squelch retarded management scandals and absurd business practices and get the industry back to being a decent and respectable venue we are proud to tell our familes we apart. LR - could you start off the new year by highlighting more positives about people, innovation, companies, practices, and news? Give it a try. I bet you will get more advertising dollars.

Peace and goodwill to all.

Tudy 12/4/2012 | 11:08:50 PM
re: 2003 Top Ten: Monkey Business Wait- stop the presses! Sex, drugs and rock-n-roll in the optical world that's what sells not the feel good stories (that's what hallmark feature presentations are for). This stuff is great but don't take it too seriously. Keep up the good LR.

Peace to all and to all a goodnight.
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