2002 Top Ten: Words of Wisdom

"I certainly hope you didn't think that was off the record..."

2002 has truly been the Year of Eloquence. Here's the Light Reading list of the most notable quotes of the year. Culled from our Quotes of the Week, some are witty, some are witless, some are downright confusing. None of them may quite rank with "There's no bigger task than protecting the homeland of our country," or "Our nation must come together to unite" – but hey! That's our tax dollars at work. In any case, may they bring you solace in these deranged, mutant times. No. 10: We're excited about the market. And we're not smoking crack, either. – Caprice Martin, Director of Corporate Communications, Netrake Corp.

No. We're just nuts!

See: Netrake Puts an Edge on VOIP

No. 9: The Internet gets its reliability from many unreliable devices. – David Garbin, VP Network Strategy, Cable & Wireless

This you must learn, Grasshopper...

See: Carrier Tech Architects Pipe Up

No. 8: Call me in August. Every time I've tried to find the bottom with Lucent, it hasn't held. – Steve Kamman, CIBC World Markets

Suggestion: Go easy on the lubricant.

See: More Layoffs Loom for Struggling Sector

No. 7: The Fibre Channel guys are like ducks. They're calm on the surface and paddling like hell underneath. – Larry Boucher, CEO, Alacritech Inc.

And sometimes they waggle their downy bottoms in the air!

See: Alacritech Speeds Off With $13M

No. 6: We did do a round of layoffs recently, just following suit with everyone else in the industry. – Catherine Cook, Centerpoint Broadband Technologies Inc. spokeswoman

Now, there's a bandwagon you don't wanna miss!

See: Centerpoint Lays Off and Spins Out

No. 5: I am proud of all that we have accomplished in bringing Qwest to this point. – Joseph P. Nacchio, ex-chairman and CEO, Qwest Communications International Inc.

Or, as Custer prehumously said: "Hurrah, boys! We've got them now!"

See: Notebaert Takes Out Nacchio

No. 4: Bankruptcy gives us another vehicle with which to restructure our balance sheet. – Jerry Parrick, CEO, Yipes Enterprise Services Inc.

"Our next option is mass suicide."

See: Yipes Joins Chapter 11 Club

No. 3: At the time it seemed like a good idea, but looking back, we shouldn’t have done that. – Bert Roberts, Chairman, WorldCom Inc., on the $400M loan to Bernard Ebbers

"And that beachfront property in Kabul? Well..."

See: WorldCom's Grubby Secrets

No. 2: Our senior management team is shocked by these discoveries. – John Sidgmore, CEO, WorldCom Inc.

"Round up the usual suspects!"

See: WorldCom Goes Boom

No. 1: We didn’t have a layoff. We’ve done a workforce realignment. – Suzanne Panopolos, Director of Marketing, Procket Networks Inc.

And Milton Berle isn't dead. He's undergone a lifestyle reappraisal.

See: Is Procket Heading Toward the Edge?

— Larry, Monkey, Light Reading