This is not trivial stuff: The last thing I want to do is be seen as clashing with our government's safety efforts.
Personal confusion aside, I'm happy to report that the FEMA Website is now aiming catchy songs at little kids as a way to get them in the right mindset at an early age, lest they be as confused as I when they crash-land into adulthood.
So... behold the Disaster Rap:
Disaster . . . it can happen anywhere,Mitigation, ya'll. Be true to yo' colors. Peace out. (Way out, unfortunately.)
But we've got a few tips, so you can be prepared
For floods, tornadoes, or even a 'quake,
You've got to be ready - so your heart don't break.
Disaster prep is your responsibility
And mitigation is important to our agency.
People helping people is what we do
And FEMA is there to help see you through
When disaster strikes, we are at our best
But we're ready all the time, 'cause disasters don't rest.
— Phil Harvey, Bureaucratic Skillz Editor, Light Reading