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Disaster Master

2:00 PM -- The ins and outs of homeland security are baffling to the layperson, like me. I spent most of yesterday lying around wondering whether it's rude to wear a butterscotch tie and green shirt on a day when the Security Threat Level is yellow and the Air Quality Index is red.

This is not trivial stuff: The last thing I want to do is be seen as clashing with our government's safety efforts.

Personal confusion aside, I'm happy to report that the FEMA Website is now aiming catchy songs at little kids as a way to get them in the right mindset at an early age, lest they be as confused as I when they crash-land into adulthood.

So... behold the Disaster Rap:

Disaster . . . it can happen anywhere,
But we've got a few tips, so you can be prepared
For floods, tornadoes, or even a 'quake,
You've got to be ready - so your heart don't break.

Disaster prep is your responsibility
And mitigation is important to our agency.

People helping people is what we do
And FEMA is there to help see you through
When disaster strikes, we are at our best
But we're ready all the time, 'cause disasters don't rest.

Mitigation, ya'll. Be true to yo' colors. Peace out. (Way out, unfortunately.)

— Phil Harvey, Bureaucratic Skillz Editor, Light Reading

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