Death to Trinkies

1:45 PM -- From today's PR pile, a question of fashion, function, and the future:
FORNEY, Texas, Aug. 4 -- Who ever said mobile phones must be just mobile phones?

Not me, for gosh sakes. And if I lived in Forney, I might also use it to squash mosquitoes or use its flashing lights to spellbind the locals.

But what I didn't know is that a tiny accessory called a "Trinkie" can transform a cell phone from a silly necessity to a mobile fashion statement:

Among Trinkies' designs are baby bears, butterflies, cats, tiaras, stars, hearts, Christian crosses and bows… The cell phone charms can be easily slipped onto the antenna by way of a stretchable rubber ring, snug enough to avoid being easily dislodged.

Per Light Reading's editorial policy, I'm connected to a modified desk chair in much the same way. It's not comfortable, mind you, but if my chair's ever dropped from reasonable height, there's a good chance I won't go flying off.

But I digress. My point in this missive was to introduce the idea that all these phone pimping contests and cell trinkets have a common bond. They're all part of a top secret plot by the big phone companies to distract us from poor service.

You can chuck a phone that doesn't work right. And you can change service providers. But you can't just throw out a fashion item or a piece of personal art.

They know this, and now they're trying to use your sense of personal style against you. Wacky ringtones were just the start. We're doomed, I tell ya.


— Phil Harvey, Apocalyptic Charms Editor, Light Reading

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