2:30 PM -- That unimpeachable British news source, the Daily Mirror, reports that "chimpanzees talk to each other when they feed..."

Scientists discovered their grunts change for different types of food - with a higher pitch for highly-valued treats like bread and low calls for less esteemed fare like apples.

It is the first time researchers have established that speech exists between apes. Previously it was thought they only used gestures to communicate...

Of course, the trouble with chimps is they talk with their mouths full.

— Larry, Attack Monkey, Light Reading