Idiotic speculation, in One Act

Phil Harvey, Editor-in-Chief

March 2, 2007

2 Min Read
Cisco's Cure

2:00 PM -- From The Philter's Actin' Up file, here's a notice from Craigslist that Cisco Systems Inc. (Nasdaq: CSCO) is seeking some folks who are ready for their close-ups:

3 Actors needed for corporate training video. Client is Cisco Systems, and subject matter is healthcare technology.

2 Adults, mid twenties-mid thirties, must be fluent in English & Vietnamese.

1 Child, 8-12 years old, of Vietnamese decent, with non-speaking role.

Video to be shot in San Jose at end of March. Will be shot in the evening.

Adult Roles pay $450 for 6 hour shoot, child role pays $150. Send headshot & resume. Actors Only - this is a non-union job

I'm not sure what the plot is for this skit, but my stunted imagination leaps to a scenario where a young mother and father, desperate to cure their child's restless leg syndrome, enlist the help of Cisco Systems to provide a solution.

Cisco's reps show up to the family's abode in suburban Haiphongand, upon assessing the situation, they dutifully strap the kid to a CRS-1 core router. The kid actually finds the whole thing soothing because of the CRS-1's droning fans and radiant warmth. The child's restless leg suddenly falls asleep.

"That's absolutely amazing," says the father, dumbfounded at how adding more routers really can fix every problem imaginable, just like in real networks. Wistfully he asks: "Can you do anything for my wife's Fibromyalgia?"

The Cisco reps smile and return quickly with two Cisco 7600 Series routers. As the woman sits in a chair, they commence sandwiching her in between the routers until she lets out a small moan. "She's okay," the rep says. "This is a more delicate condition, so we're using more focused routers."

The happy father thanks the Cisco reps as they leave him with 4,500 pages of documentation and in-service upgrade instructions. He'll have to trade in his mini-van for an 18-wheeler to take the family on outings. But the cures Cisco can provide with just three routers is certainly worth the extra trouble.

Cisco: Welcome to the Human Network.

— Phil Harvey, Drama Queen, Light Reading

About the Author(s)

Phil Harvey

Editor-in-Chief, Light Reading

Phil Harvey has been a Light Reading writer and editor for more than 18 years combined. He began his second tour as the site's chief editor in April 2020.

His interest in speed and scale means he often covers optical networking and the foundational technologies powering the modern Internet.

Harvey covered networking, Internet infrastructure and dot-com mania in the late 90s for Silicon Valley magazines like UPSIDE and Red Herring before joining Light Reading (for the first time) in late 2000.

After moving to the Republic of Texas, Harvey spent eight years as a contributing tech writer for D CEO magazine, producing columns about tech advances in everything from supercomputing to cellphone recycling.

Harvey is an avid photographer and camera collector – if you accept that compulsive shopping and "collecting" are the same.

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