9:45 AM -- The World Beard and Moustache Championships are being held in Berlin on Oct 1. As the email invitation promises, "The Berlin Beard Club is pulling out all of the stops to make this the best WBMC ever." Which is really saying something.

Scheduled events, I believe, include muttonchop power-lifting and goatee hurdles.

Better yet, the American team will be holding its training camp at the Oktoberfest in Munich. Read the enticing details and see some truly peculiar facial growths here.

Your hirsute correspondent is getting his press credentials in order.

— Larry, Attack Monkey, Light Reading