2008 Top Ten: Quotes
Grown-ups say the darndest things.
2008 was a pretty bleak year, economy-wise, but quite rich, quote-wise. Here, as we do each year at this time, are the 10 best comments o' the year, lovingly gathered from our news stories and wrenched shamelessly out of context for your holiday enjoyment.
1. First off, Lenny Higgins, SVP Advanced Services, Bresnan Communications, evokes a simpler, yet happier, time, down by the fishin' hole:
"We have a smaller pond, but only two of us are fishing in that pond."
Of course, Lenny, there may be a reason no one else is fishing there. Just sayin'.
2. Phil Wiser, chairman and president, Sezmi Corp., has his own line of mixed metaphor:
"Seattle has been the showcase and sandbox."
Cats are flocking to the Northwest. Good luck herding them.
3. For Michael Shores, CEO, TXP Corp., it was the year of living dangerously:
"That helped me make the decision to jump off the bridge with a PON backpack on."
Alcohol may have been involved.
4. Charlene Lake, VP Public Affairs, AT&T, has a more grisly take on things. We hope this is a metaphor:
“If you’re not at the table, you’re on the menu.”
Kindly old Mother Bell is ready to serve you.
5. Steven Messino, VP Sales & Marketing, Blankom, addresses every kitmaker's conundrum:
"You can't just throw the equipment over the wall."
Well, Steve, sometimes you can. In which case... Run away!!!
6. Allan Freeth, CEO, TelstraClear, has his festive leather thong in a twist:
"Improved residential networks would be used for downloading movies and pornography and would not contribute to national productivity."
Rather blinkered view of productivity there, dontcha think?
7. Productivity? Schmoductivity! Mark Cuban, chairman, HDNet, is having none of it:
"I don't care what anyone else says, but the Internet is boring."
Well, his standards are high.
8. No boredom in the McNealy household, where driveway rage is the reindeer game of choice. Scott McNealy, chairman, Sun Microsystems, seems to be suffering from a lack of wifely attention:
"I've been trying to run over my wife's iPhone with a car for a week."
Let's hope the wife wasn't trying to make a call at the time.
9. Robert Levitan, CEO, Pando Networks, is also breaking out the holiday whine:
"I'm at a small company. I don't have a private jet."
No bailout for you!
10. Speaking of which, Mark Stoleson, president, Legatum Capital, has Happy New Year's greetings for us all:
"Shareholders are no longer willing to be brushed off with assurances that all will be well next year."
A tad downbeat there, Mark...
Sigh. We can't leave it there. This is supposed to be a happy occasion. Let's not bicker and argue over who killed who... So here, for the first time in this space, is your lucky bonus quote from Jean-Philippe Chaput, "Scientist," Laval University:
"Caloric overcompensation following intellectual work could contribute to the obesity epidemic currently observed in industrialised countries."
Something to contemplate while you're cramming festal provender down your intellectual fruitcake-hole.
Happy Holidays, kids! And may next year be even better! — Larry, Attack Monkey, Light Reading