2007 Top Ten 20! Bad Company Names

12/31/2007

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4:30 PM -- Well, kids, the Holiday Season seems to have obtruded its frightful red-and-green self upon us once again. And I think we all know what that means: It's time to alienate potential advertisers by holding their silly names up to light-hearted ridicule. Enjoy (in the festive spirit in which it's intended)!

1. Apparent Networks
   Partner of Obvious Incorporated, rumored to have products.
   
   
2. Blue Gecko
   Geckos. They're very big now. And ours is blue. Is that cool or what?
   
   
3. BreakingPoint Systems
   "We'll drive you to it!"
   
   
4. Cavalier Telephone
   Dial 1 if you'd like the butler to put you on hold.
   
   
5. Chumby
   They make friendly shark bait.
   
   
6. Dimdim
   Dumdum.
   
   
7. DORC
   A wholly owned subsidiary of PUTZ Inc.
   
   
   
   
8. Eblana Photonics
   Electronic blana, for that blana-free workplace!
   
   
9. Flytxt
   SMS for insects.
   
   
10. Gigle
    The latest laff-riot from J-Lo and B-Fleck!
    
    
11. Global Vibration
    Really BIG batteries not included.
    
    
12. HitTail
    Or punch face. Either will make your cat angry.
    
    
13. Hurray!
    Sooo happy to have a job.
    
    
    
    
14. Men & Mice
    A choice of service options. One involves cheese.
    
    
15. Pelephone Communications
    For all your pelecommunications needs.
    
    
    
    
16. Podaddies
    Ain't that a sangwich they eat Down South?
    
    
17. Render Vanderslice
    "Try our meat pies!"
    
    
18. TellyTopia
    Is that the purple, gay one?
    
    
19. Voxbone
    VOIP for the arthritic.
    
    
20. Wapple
    Like Apple, but with a W! (Slogan by: Apparent Networks)
    
    

Falalalala (lala la la)!

— Larry, Attack Monkey, Light Reading