2003 Top Ten: Words of Wisdom
Yes, Dear Reader, it's time again for post-mortems as 2003 heaves churlishly to a close. And "Good riddance," to quote our ever quotable Commander in Chief. What a wacky year it's been! Middle Earth remains threatened by the shadow of Sauron, the Middle East remains threatened by just about everyone, and Ashton Kutcher is a major Hollywood star!
Meanwhile the erstwhile telecom bubble continues to lie as flat as Strom Thurmond's brain scan. Still, the deflated remains thereof continue to emit the occasional amusing bit of flatulence (I refer to the bubble), and it is the most noteworthy of these gaseous outpourings we are gathered here to celebrate. We've numbered them for those keeping score at home... No. 10 What would year-end feces flinging be without one parting (we hope!) shot at the Grubbernator?
We have turned conflicts of interest into synergies.
Jack Grubman, Banished Salomon 'Analyst'
No. 9 Elsewhere a real analyst tries to put a good face on things:
Sometimes there are companies that exploit the public's ignorance of a subject for personal gain. It's no different than food supplements or skincare products, I guess. So I'm not saying that anyone is a shyster. Let's call it opportunism.
Tom Hausken, Analyst, Strategies Unlimited
No. 8 Speaking of which...
The rulings will be a lawyer's cash-pig.
Craig Johnson, independent analyst, on the FCC's unbundling compromise
No. 7 Let's ask a lawyer:
Does VOIP look like a duck and quack like a duck because you chose to create it that way – or can it be made to look like a fish?
Michael Powell, Chairman, Federal Communications Commission (FCC)
No. 6 From the marketing department comes a prescription for real fun!
The ticket to the dance is that you have to be willing to drop your pants and savage your margins in the near term.
- – Kermit Ross, Founder, Millennium Marketing
No. 5 This marketeer, on the other hand, doesn't seem to have quite captured the inebrious Holiday Spirit:
The leaders will be anointed and the losers will be shot.
George Prodan, SVP of Marketing,
Trapeze Networks Inc.
No. 4 There's worse out there:
When people talk to you about the negative things in telecom life, try to move the conversation to the more positive things. If a reporter asks about layoffs, point out that it was these layoffs that put the industry in the position for a rebound.
Danny Briere, CEO, TeleChoice Inc.
No. 3 Tony's had enough of rebounding...
I used to be in optics! Now I'm eating again.
Tony Tissot, Redline Networks Inc.
No. 2 Ah... Chinese takeout!
I'm actually encouraging public companies to start moving infrastructure over to China.
Drew Peck, Partner, Crimson Ventures
No. 1 But enough mean-spirited grousing. We leave you with an enigmatic, yet hauntingly beautiful, Holiday Haiku:
ple coalesce to something.
– Wendy Vittori
General Manager, Motorola Computer Group
— Larry, Monkey, Light Reading