Some old cougar was holding court with an AT&T Inc. (NYSE: T) executive, and she bragged, quite loudly, about how "Alcatel was nice enough to fly me to Madrid and put me up in a really nice hotel" for some event. Really. Thanks for sharing.

I go to tradeshows now just to see how many times Tom Steinert-Threlkeld's name will be misspelled on conference material, PR notes, party invitations, and other people's blogs. That, and the free coffee.

Attention folks who drink way too much the night before they have booth duty at a tradeshow: The move here is to drink responsibly -- by which I mean, take a sauna or go for a vigorous jog BEFORE you go back to work on the show floor. You know, detox.

Here's why: We can smell your gin-embalmed soul from six feet away. Combined with the Gogurt you're drinking, your every breath is literally ripping holes in the ozone and show signage. The damn lobby of the hotel has silk plants, and even they were wilting when you walked by.

If you're going to destroy yourself at a show party, please try to show up for tradeshow duty looking fresh and ready. You have to be prepared to do some extra preparation in the morning, quite possibly including a blood transfusion.

Tradeshow organizers: Can we get someone, anyone, to sit by the door of the press room and keep publicists out unless they're restocking coffee stirrers or something? We're absolutely fair game throughout the entire show. Is it too much to ask for an 80 square-foot holding cell all to ourselves while we file copy and play "guess my age" with the breakfast pastries?