3:30 PM -- People looking for ways to significantly lower their phone bills now have a new option -- become a felon. The good folks at Embarq Corp. (NYSE: EQ) have reached an agreement with the Kansas Department of Correction to "provide telephone services for inmate calling at Kansas correctional facilities for significantly reduced rates." (See Embarq Lowers Rates.)

Signing up for the plan is free -- simply go out and commit a crime and make sure you're convicted. As long as you don't hire your own attorney, you'll enjoy affordable quality phone service from a trusted company without any upfront costs.

Now if you'll excuse me...

— Raymond McConville, Convicted Felon, Light Reading