Watch out for dead fatties!

August 7, 2007

1 Min Read
Obese Corpses Kill!

4:25 PM -- Even in death, if you’re a fatty, you suck. Reuters reports:

  • More than two-thirds of Australians living outside major cities are overweight or obese, and extremely obese corpses are creating a safety hazard at mortuaries, according to two studies released Sunday.

Procedure for Studies: (1) Scientist drops obese corpse on mortuary staff. (2) Scientist drops mortuary staff on obese corpse.

  • Meanwhile, pathologists are calling for new "heavy-duty" autopsy facilities to cope with obese corpses that are difficult to move and dangerously heavy for standard-size trolleys and lifting hoists.

    The bodies presented "major logistical problems" and "significant occupational health and safety issues," according to a separate study, which found the number of obese and morbidly obese bodies had doubled in the past 20 years.

They’re multiplying?!

  • In the past year, there have also been requests for larger crematorium furnaces, bigger grave plots as well as super-sized ambulances, wheelchairs and hospital beds.

"Super-sized" ambulances? Interesting choice of words. Would you like fries with that headstone?

— Red Panda, Morbidly Furry Corpse, Light Reading

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