Do you love your smartphone? Like, rilly, rilly love it?

Is it such a part of your identity that, if it spirals out of your hand on the subway platform, you seriously consider leaping onto the tracks to save it? Do you fly into a blind panic if just a few small droplets of liquid fall on the screen? Do you prefer playing Candy Crush to interacting with the other alleged humans on public transportation?

If you answered "yes" to any of these, congratulations, you're terrible. But keep calm and stop texting, because you're not alone. In fact, the transition from a Normal, Observant Person to a Self-Involved, Headphone Wearing, Brunch Instagramming, Constantly Texting Monster happens to almost every smartphone user at some point in their life.

"But how do I know how horrible I really am?" you wail to your only real friend.

Well, even Siri can't answer that one, but Light Reading can help with a handy little test. Below are the top five examples of smartphone idiocy, complete with a points system. Add up your points at the end to find out just how far gone you are.

Click on the image to start the "slideshow":

Figure 1: You Take Your Phone With You to the Dinner Table Everything is SO IMPORTANT that you CAN'T POSSIBLY leave your PHONE for TWENTY MINUTES while you sit down with your family to enjoy a nice meal. WHAT IF SOMEONE CALLS?! WHAT IF SOMEONE TWEETS?!
(1 POINT)

— Jessica DiGiacinto, special to Light Reading