11:45 AM -- News Flash: Brits are weird.

The Sceptered Isle's Wiltshire Times reports optimistically that

I rejoice that Trowbridge may at long last appear on maps, but "the idea of a sausage skipping event" puzzles this monkey.

Will this involve Trowbridgians prancing about while grasping their sausages? Or is it a matter of skimming sausages across the surface of the local millpond? Or perhaps they're simply going to forgo their morning porky comestible? "No thanks, dear, I'm skipping sausage. We need to get on the bally map, what what?"

Sigh. Got Spam?

— Larry, Attack Monkey, Light Reading