5:15 PM -- Hi, my name is Steve Yobs. This is my diary… my iPhone diary.

You see, I run a paper route, but I've been saving all my pennies so that I can buy an iPhone on Friday. And gee whiz, and I'm excited. I can't wait to show it to my brother Wally.

My Pop thinks I'm crazy to spend $500 on a cellphone/music player. You see, you can get flash MP3 players for $50, it's true. And many phones are free. But this thing is special. It comes with a touch-free address book! I love the fact that I won't have to touch the people when I call them. They might give me cooties. That alone is worth $300!

I also like the fact that the iPhone runs iTunes because that means I can lock even more music into proprietary Apple music formats so that when I try to move my music around it will drive my PC friends and family absolutely crazy! That's worth another $200!

It adds up fast, doesn't it? I can't wait to call people, too. I've never done that on an Apple device before. The Apple interface is so elegant and intuitive, that I imagine that all my conversations from now one will be perfectly elegant and intuitive. I'll sound just like Steve Jobs. Even when I'm talking to my lawyer, or my boss, there will absolutely no misunderstandings on my iPhone. That, in itself is priceless.

No, I'm not worried at all about my $500 investment in iPhone. Even if I get tired of it, I can admire it in my museum of previously hot electronic items, such as my Sony Walkman, Apple Newton, Mac Classic, Palm One, Palm V, and all the other stuff that got sold to me by the slick marketing types.

I might recycle it some day.

Just like this thing.

Boy, I am excited. I can't wait!

— Steve D. Yobs, Special to Light Reading