8:00 AM -- I knew it was only a matter of time. But I didn't think it would happen so soon.

It was just six weeks ago that I was beaming over being one of the lucky millions to have forked over $400-plus for the privilege of owning an Apple Inc. (Nasdaq: AAPL) iPhone, and already I'm beginning to regret it.

That's not because it hasn't served me well, mind you. I've been incredibly happy with call quality, feature integration, and the perk of being able to take YouTube Inc. and Google (Nasdaq: GOOG) with me everywhere. I love the ability to be able to own a single device that has my phone and music player and email; I relish the sneers I get from the envious plebes I pass on the subway every day.

No, it's because, as predicted, Apple is going to upgrade the device to allow 3G connectivity sometime next year. (See The 3G iPhone.)

And while next-gen iPhone users will be cruising the information super-highway at super-fast (or at least, somewhat bearable) speeds, my bad boy will be dinking along, L...O...A...D...I...N...G... for the next 22 months, thanks to the joy of being on the EDGE network.

So thanks, Steve Jobs, for totally crushing my dreams.

— Ryan Lawler, Former Apple Fanboy, Light Reading