Light Reading

Cheap Laughs With Larry

Column
Column
Column
10/31/2002
50%
50%

A name can be a funny thing.

Especially if it's Gopi Gopinath.

The funny name is a hallowed American tradition. From Goody Garlick, the Wicked Witch of East Hampton, to Armand Hammer, the People's Plutocrat – a good laugh at a truly silly name has provided solace for many a citizen in troubled times. Heck, we even elected a President named Dick Nixon, of all things – and not once, mind you, but twice! (Talk about troubled times...)

So, as telecom descends further into its long, dark night of the soul, what better way to leaven the mood than to have some lighthearted fun with a few really unfortunate monikers? Where have you gone, Jag Bolaria? A nation turns its lonely eyes to you. Woo ooh ooh!

Now, we know what you're thinking: It's cruel – not to say, infantile, puerile, and oafish – to pick on people just because of their names. Didn't they suffer enough abuse in the schoolyard? We shouldn't kick these poor unfortunates while they're down, right?

Wrong! That's why they hired me.

Some of the names that are flung through my cage each day are simply so mind-boggling, so rib-tickling, so, indeed, toe-tapping, that I feel obliged to share them with you, Oh Best Belovèd. Some, it's true, simply suffer from their miserable, benighted foreign roots: No doubt, Pekka Kykkänen (of Liekki Oy!) barely raises an eyebrow in Helsinki, the Buenos Aires of the Subarctic. And Anil Gupta surely does not, on the Subcontinent, call to mind a hemorrhoid ointment.

But what, as they say, the heck? We're laughing at these people. Not with them.

So it is that Light Reading presents, for your mean-spirited amusement, Larry's Top 25 Funniest Names in Telecom. We urge you to enjoy them responsibly.

[Any resemblance between these names and those of actual telecommers, living or dead, is purely noncoincidental. The names have not been changed to protect the innocent. Nobody is innocent!]

  • 25: Matt Massengill, Western Digital
    Feels springtime fresh all day!

  • 24: Phil Turtle, Turtle Consulting
    Ably assisted by Benjy Bunny and Danny Duck.

  • 23: Alistair Impey, Telstra Research
  • 22: Ransom Love, Caldera
    All models are 18 or older.

  • 21: Hava Volterra, CyOptics
    ...is better than none!

  • 20: Nir Zuk, OneSecure
    Merciless Overlord of the Planet Mung.

  • 19: Matt McCool, NorthStar Communications
    And the Uptown Hep-Cats.

  • 18: Yannick Teriierooiterai, Tikiphone
    Does that come with fresh pineapple?

  • 17: Riikamaria Paakkunainen, Wireless Entertainment Services Finland
    I'd like to buy seventeen vowels, please, Vanna!

  • 16: Detlef Spang, Equant
    Spaaannnggg!

  • 15: Gorka Uranga, EF International
    Step right up! See him eat glass! Watch as he drives nails with his head!

  • 14: Ultan O'Raghallaigh, Tsunami Photonics
    The dance craze that's sweeping the Emerald Isle!

  • 13: Canning Fok, Hutchison Whampoa
    And yo momma, too!

  • 12: Rusty Cumpston, Ciena
  • 11: Harry Hamster, Xanoptics
    Not to be confused with the popular rodent food.

  • 10: Sabine Schmuck, ControlWare
    So... you're related to the Schmucks of New Jersey?

  • 9: Boonchai Bencharongkul, DTAC
    Symptoms may include rash, palpitations, and explosive diarrhea.

  • 8: Ferit Yegenoglu, Isocore
    First, we skin and clean one medium-sized weasel...

  • 7: Dick Sweatt, CloudShield
    And who hasn't had that problem?

  • 6: Johnson Agogbua, BroadBand Office
    Anyone called "Johnson" is automatically funny. Anything else is a bonus.

  • 5: Harry Quackenboss, BrightLink Networks
    If it waddles like a boss and swims like a boss...

  • 4: Nicholas de Quetville Le Querot Crapp, Goldman Sachs
    Aw... the Hell with it...

  • 3: Honest Hwang, 3C Tae Yang
    Just what this country needs: a good, honest hwang!

  • 2: Ofer Gneezy, iBasis
    The mysterious eighth dwarf.

  • 1: Dr. Lampros Kalampoukas, Xebeo Communications
Happy Halloween, Boys and Girls!

Larry Larry bo Barry
Banana bana fo Farry
Me my mo Marry...


— Larry, Monkey, Light Reading
www.lightreading.com

(9)  | 
Comment  | 
Print  | 
Newest First  |  Oldest First  |  Threaded View
Duke_of_URL
50%
50%
Duke_of_URL,
User Rank: Light Beer
12/4/2012 | 9:26:14 PM
re: Cheap Laughs With Larry
Kirby "Buddy" Pickle, former CEO of Velocita.

Am I the only one who hears 70's porn music when saying this out loud?
Commentator
50%
50%
Commentator,
User Rank: Light Beer
12/4/2012 | 9:26:09 PM
re: Cheap Laughs With Larry
Antti Kokkinen from Nokia Ventures - say no more!
rzerockzeron
50%
50%
rzerockzeron,
User Rank: Light Beer
12/4/2012 | 9:25:43 PM
re: Cheap Laughs With Larry
Finally!

LR is back in its purest form. Cheap laughs are the best there are, especially in these troubled times...

That said, we get our daily dose by watching the Corvis boards and the Reindeer/Dave77777 wars...

Keep up the good work. No serious stuff please.

RZ.
gea
50%
50%
gea,
User Rank: Light Beer
12/4/2012 | 9:25:40 PM
re: Cheap Laughs With Larry
Didn't he battle the Fantastic Four in Issue 214?
lightwork
50%
50%
lightwork,
User Rank: Light Beer
12/4/2012 | 9:25:24 PM
re: Cheap Laughs With Larry

You guys forgot Woody Cannon, from Kestrel
buliwyf
50%
50%
buliwyf,
User Rank: Light Beer
12/4/2012 | 9:25:18 PM
re: Cheap Laughs With Larry
>Keep up the good work. No serious stuff please.
Do you really believe no news is good news?
rzerockzeron
50%
50%
rzerockzeron,
User Rank: Light Beer
12/4/2012 | 9:24:55 PM
re: Cheap Laughs With Larry
No, good news are good news.

But in the event of no news, I'd like stupid news.

RZ.
Larry, Monkey
50%
50%
Larry, Monkey,
User Rank: Light Beer
12/4/2012 | 9:24:48 PM
re: Cheap Laughs With Larry
Bob Noseworthy, 10 Gigabit Ethernet consortium manager at the University of New Hampshire
Qazxsw21
50%
50%
Qazxsw21,
User Rank: Light Beer
12/4/2012 | 9:22:11 PM
re: Cheap Laughs With Larry
Don't miss out on VPIPhotonics' marketing guru Corrie Dangler, either.
More Blogs from Column
Bigger. And Better. But definitely bigger.
When trying to develop innovative technologies, engineers must be willing to take risks, make mistakes and move ahead incrementally without having all the data.
Mobile network operators have the network and a business model that makes them well suited to lead the charge as the Internet of Things (IoT) takes off.
Gathering useful information for real-time management of Ethernet and IP networks is a non-trivial issue.
There are three important questions service providers need to address for in-market and out-of-market expansion.
Flash Poll
From The Founder
The New IP is actually bigger even than business. Like another hugely important tech that Light Reading is digging into right now, the New IP has the potential to change the world by fundamentally advancing what it is possible for people to achieve with communications.
LRTV Huawei Video Resource Center
The Power of Five Convergences in OceanStor OS

3|4|15   |   6:24   |   (0) comments


OceanStor OS is Huawei's brand-new storage operating system. While inheriting the consistent high stability, reliability and performance from the company's previous storage products, OceanStor OS abounds in new converged storage features. Specifically, the new storage operating system achieves "five convergences" to lift storage convergence to a higher level.
LRTV Huawei Video Resource Center
4K Brings Extreme Video Experience

3|4|15   |   8:10   |   (0) comments


4K video is a hot topic in the video industry. It will certainly bring an extreme video experience to end users. At the same time, however, it will also pose a big challenge to operators. Check out this Huawei 4K experts' discussion about how operators can achieve success in 4K video service.
LRTV Interviews
DT's Virtualization Vision for Europe

3|4|15   |   10:23   |   (0) comments


Light Reading CEO Steve Saunders talks virtualization, cloudification and standards with Deutsche Telekom's Axel Clauberg at Mobile World Congress.
LRTV Custom TV
ZTE's Wireline at MWC 2015

3|4|15   |   6:35   |   (0) comments


Light Reading speaks with Jane Chen, ZTE's Senior VP of Wireline Business, about innovations in her product line at Mobile World Congress.
LRTV Custom TV
ZTE at MWC 2015

3|4|15   |   4:24   |   (0) comments


Dr. Dick Chen of ZTE USA gives Light Reading an overview of what's new at ZTE's pavilion at Mobile World Congress 2015.
LRTV Interviews
Ericsson CEO Talks Telco Data Center Tech

3|4|15   |   05:45   |   (0) comments


At Mobile World Congress, Ericsson CEO Hans Vestberg discusses telco data center technology, business models, small cells and more.
Between the CEOs
EXCLUSIVE: Cisco's Chambers on Reinvention

3|3|15   |   8:24   |   (1) comment


Light Reading CEO Steve Saunders talks transformation and virtualization – including Light Reading's independent testing of the vendor's virtualization solutions – with Cisco CEO John Chambers at Mobile World Congress in Barcelona.
LRTV Documentaries
The Three Cs of MWC15

3|2|15   |   2:33   |   (1) comment


My visit to this year's Mobile World Congress is going to dominated by three Cs – cloud, cells and coffee.
LRTV Huawei Video Resource Center
Huawei Shares Its Vision of the Future of Mobile Networks Innovations

2|26|15   |   2:30   |   (0) comments


Mobile broadband is changing our lives. It's reshaping the Internet, industry, and society. It allows us to freely connect with one another anytime, anywhere. At this year's Mobile World Congress, Huawei will share its latest insights and newest ideas and technologies that will shape the future of MBB. They will showcase their end-to-end MBB solutions that will ...
LRTV Huawei Video Resource Center
Accelerate Digitizing, Boost Digital Business

2|26|15   |   6:14   |   (0) comments


A new digital revolution is leading us to a better connected world. Together with millions of digital partners, Huawei will help CSPs to build their digital service ecosystem and aggregate a wide variety of digital services. In this video, we find out how Huawei is going to help CSPs implement digital operations.
LRTV Huawei Video Resource Center
The Secret Recipe to Enabling Hyper-Growth Industries

2|26|15   |   3:38   |   (0) comments


With a number of successful cases on network capability exposure, Huawei is going to share the secret recipe to enabling hyper-growth markets with a step-by-step approach.
LRTV Documentaries
BTE 2015 Is Bigger & Even Better

2|25|15   |   03:13   |   (4) comments


This year's Big Telecom Event (BTE) in Chicago is going to provide more opportunities than ever for networking, getting to grips with key industry challenges and opportunities and, equally as important, having some fun.
Upcoming Live Events
March 17, 2015, The Cable Center, Denver, CO
April 14, 2015, The Westin Times Square, New York City, NY
May 12, 2015, Grand Hyatt, Denver, CO
May 13-14, 2015, The Westin Peachtree, Atlanta, GA
June 8, 2015, Chicago, IL
June 9-10, 2015, Chicago, IL
June 9, 2015, Chicago, IL
June 10, 2015, Chicago, IL
All Upcoming Live Events
Infographics
Net neutrality, broadband services and the current outlook on data consumption, as presented by the New Jersey Institute of Technology.
Hot Topics
Internet Pioneers Decry Title II Rules
Carol Wilson, Editor-at-large, 3/2/2015
Wheeler: We'll Enforce Title II 'Case-By-Case'
Sarah Thomas, Editorial Operations Director, 3/3/2015
New CenturyLink CTO in Major Overhaul
Carol Wilson, Editor-at-large, 3/4/2015
Verizon Takes Radio Dot to Detroit, VoLTE Overseas
Sarah Thomas, Editorial Operations Director, 2/27/2015
Like Us on Facebook
Twitter Feed
Webinar Archive
BETWEEN THE CEOs - Executive Interviews
Check out Light Reading's interview with Jay Samit, the newly appointed CEO of publicly traded SeaChange International Inc. With a resume that includes Sony, EMI, and Universal, Samit brings a reputation as an entrepreneur and a disruptor to his new role at the video solutions company. Hear what he had to say about the opportunities in video, as well as the outlook for cable, telco, OTT and mobile service providers.