Light Reading

Cheap Laughs With Larry

Column
Column
Column
10/31/2002
50%
50%

A name can be a funny thing.

Especially if it's Gopi Gopinath.

The funny name is a hallowed American tradition. From Goody Garlick, the Wicked Witch of East Hampton, to Armand Hammer, the People's Plutocrat – a good laugh at a truly silly name has provided solace for many a citizen in troubled times. Heck, we even elected a President named Dick Nixon, of all things – and not once, mind you, but twice! (Talk about troubled times...)

So, as telecom descends further into its long, dark night of the soul, what better way to leaven the mood than to have some lighthearted fun with a few really unfortunate monikers? Where have you gone, Jag Bolaria? A nation turns its lonely eyes to you. Woo ooh ooh!

Now, we know what you're thinking: It's cruel – not to say, infantile, puerile, and oafish – to pick on people just because of their names. Didn't they suffer enough abuse in the schoolyard? We shouldn't kick these poor unfortunates while they're down, right?

Wrong! That's why they hired me.

Some of the names that are flung through my cage each day are simply so mind-boggling, so rib-tickling, so, indeed, toe-tapping, that I feel obliged to share them with you, Oh Best Belovèd. Some, it's true, simply suffer from their miserable, benighted foreign roots: No doubt, Pekka Kykkänen (of Liekki Oy!) barely raises an eyebrow in Helsinki, the Buenos Aires of the Subarctic. And Anil Gupta surely does not, on the Subcontinent, call to mind a hemorrhoid ointment.

But what, as they say, the heck? We're laughing at these people. Not with them.

So it is that Light Reading presents, for your mean-spirited amusement, Larry's Top 25 Funniest Names in Telecom. We urge you to enjoy them responsibly.

[Any resemblance between these names and those of actual telecommers, living or dead, is purely noncoincidental. The names have not been changed to protect the innocent. Nobody is innocent!]

  • 25: Matt Massengill, Western Digital
    Feels springtime fresh all day!

  • 24: Phil Turtle, Turtle Consulting
    Ably assisted by Benjy Bunny and Danny Duck.

  • 23: Alistair Impey, Telstra Research
  • 22: Ransom Love, Caldera
    All models are 18 or older.

  • 21: Hava Volterra, CyOptics
    ...is better than none!

  • 20: Nir Zuk, OneSecure
    Merciless Overlord of the Planet Mung.

  • 19: Matt McCool, NorthStar Communications
    And the Uptown Hep-Cats.

  • 18: Yannick Teriierooiterai, Tikiphone
    Does that come with fresh pineapple?

  • 17: Riikamaria Paakkunainen, Wireless Entertainment Services Finland
    I'd like to buy seventeen vowels, please, Vanna!

  • 16: Detlef Spang, Equant
    Spaaannnggg!

  • 15: Gorka Uranga, EF International
    Step right up! See him eat glass! Watch as he drives nails with his head!

  • 14: Ultan O'Raghallaigh, Tsunami Photonics
    The dance craze that's sweeping the Emerald Isle!

  • 13: Canning Fok, Hutchison Whampoa
    And yo momma, too!

  • 12: Rusty Cumpston, Ciena
  • 11: Harry Hamster, Xanoptics
    Not to be confused with the popular rodent food.

  • 10: Sabine Schmuck, ControlWare
    So... you're related to the Schmucks of New Jersey?

  • 9: Boonchai Bencharongkul, DTAC
    Symptoms may include rash, palpitations, and explosive diarrhea.

  • 8: Ferit Yegenoglu, Isocore
    First, we skin and clean one medium-sized weasel...

  • 7: Dick Sweatt, CloudShield
    And who hasn't had that problem?

  • 6: Johnson Agogbua, BroadBand Office
    Anyone called "Johnson" is automatically funny. Anything else is a bonus.

  • 5: Harry Quackenboss, BrightLink Networks
    If it waddles like a boss and swims like a boss...

  • 4: Nicholas de Quetville Le Querot Crapp, Goldman Sachs
    Aw... the Hell with it...

  • 3: Honest Hwang, 3C Tae Yang
    Just what this country needs: a good, honest hwang!

  • 2: Ofer Gneezy, iBasis
    The mysterious eighth dwarf.

  • 1: Dr. Lampros Kalampoukas, Xebeo Communications
Happy Halloween, Boys and Girls!

Larry Larry bo Barry
Banana bana fo Farry
Me my mo Marry...


— Larry, Monkey, Light Reading
www.lightreading.com

(9)  | 
Comment  | 
Print  | 
Newest First  |  Oldest First  |  Threaded View
Duke_of_URL
50%
50%
Duke_of_URL,
User Rank: Light Beer
12/4/2012 | 9:26:14 PM
re: Cheap Laughs With Larry
Kirby "Buddy" Pickle, former CEO of Velocita.

Am I the only one who hears 70's porn music when saying this out loud?
Commentator
50%
50%
Commentator,
User Rank: Light Beer
12/4/2012 | 9:26:09 PM
re: Cheap Laughs With Larry
Antti Kokkinen from Nokia Ventures - say no more!
rzerockzeron
50%
50%
rzerockzeron,
User Rank: Light Beer
12/4/2012 | 9:25:43 PM
re: Cheap Laughs With Larry
Finally!

LR is back in its purest form. Cheap laughs are the best there are, especially in these troubled times...

That said, we get our daily dose by watching the Corvis boards and the Reindeer/Dave77777 wars...

Keep up the good work. No serious stuff please.

RZ.
gea
50%
50%
gea,
User Rank: Light Beer
12/4/2012 | 9:25:40 PM
re: Cheap Laughs With Larry
Didn't he battle the Fantastic Four in Issue 214?
lightwork
50%
50%
lightwork,
User Rank: Light Beer
12/4/2012 | 9:25:24 PM
re: Cheap Laughs With Larry

You guys forgot Woody Cannon, from Kestrel
buliwyf
50%
50%
buliwyf,
User Rank: Light Beer
12/4/2012 | 9:25:18 PM
re: Cheap Laughs With Larry
>Keep up the good work. No serious stuff please.
Do you really believe no news is good news?
rzerockzeron
50%
50%
rzerockzeron,
User Rank: Light Beer
12/4/2012 | 9:24:55 PM
re: Cheap Laughs With Larry
No, good news are good news.

But in the event of no news, I'd like stupid news.

RZ.
Larry, Monkey
50%
50%
Larry, Monkey,
User Rank: Light Beer
12/4/2012 | 9:24:48 PM
re: Cheap Laughs With Larry
Bob Noseworthy, 10 Gigabit Ethernet consortium manager at the University of New Hampshire
Qazxsw21
50%
50%
Qazxsw21,
User Rank: Light Beer
12/4/2012 | 9:22:11 PM
re: Cheap Laughs With Larry
Don't miss out on VPIPhotonics' marketing guru Corrie Dangler, either.
More Blogs from Column
There are three important questions service providers need to address for in-market and out-of-market expansion.
Cablevision's new Freewheel WiFi service will offer 'unlimited data, talk and text' plus access to Cablevision hotspots for a smallish monthly fee, but is hotspot access worth the price?
Space Division Multiplexing (SDM) technologies could help relieve future bottlenecks in communications networks.
Small cells with advanced C-RAN capabilities create a new opportunity to meet wireless demand more economically and deliver the best possible user experience to subscribers.
To get real customer visibility and to consistently deliver a higher quality experience, MNOs must have access to real-time location awareness.
Flash Poll
From The Founder
It's clear to me that the communications industry is divided into two types of people, and only one is living in the real world.
LRTV Huawei Video Resource Center
Dr. Dong Sun Talks About Carriers' Digital Transformation & Huawei’s Telco OS

1|29|15   |   6:28   |   (0) comments


Dr. Dong Sun, Chief Architect of Digital Transformation Solutions at Huawei, discusses how telecom operators can become digital ecosystem enablers and deliver optimal user experiences that are in real-time, on-demand, all-online, DIY and social (ROADS).
LRTV Huawei Video Resource Center
Huawei's Chief Network Architect Talks about Network Experience & Operators’ Strategies

1|29|15   |   3:39   |   (0) comments


In the digital age, network experience has become the primary productivity especially for telecom operators. In this video, Wenshuan Dang, Huawei’s Chief Network Architect, discusses how carriers can tackle the challenge of infrastructure complexity in order to enhance business agility and improve user experience.
LRTV Documentaries
The Rise of Virtual CPE

1|27|15   |   01:38   |   (5) comments


As NFV strategies evolve from tests and trials to production telco networks, expect to hear a lot about virtual CPE (customer premises equipment) rollouts during 2015.
LRTV Documentaries
Optical Is Hot in 2015

1|23|15   |   01:56   |   (2) comments


Optical comms technology underpins the whole communications sector and there are some really hot trends set for 2015.
LRTV Custom TV
Policy Control in the Fast Lane

1|22|15   |   2:57   |   (0) comments


What's making policy control strategic in 2015 and beyond? Amdocs talks with Heavy Reading's Graham Finnie about the key factors driving change in the data services landscape. Find out what his policy management research reveals about the road ahead for policy control – and sign up for
LRTV Documentaries
Highlights From the 2020 Vision Executive Summit

1|21|15   |   4:33   |   (2) comments


In December 2014, Light Reading brought together telecom executives in Reykjavik, Iceland to discuss their vision for high-capacity networks through the end of the decade. The intimate, interactive meeting was set against the backdrop of Iceland's spectacular natural beauty. As one of the event's founding sponsors, Cisco's Doug Webster shared his company's ...
LRTV Huawei Video Resource Center
Huawei Pay-TV Partner Harmonic, Helping Carriers Accelerate 4K Video Deployment with Huawei

1|20|15   |   5:42   |   (1) comment


At IBC, Peter Alexander, Senior Vice President & CMO at Harmonic, speaks about the growing interest in pay-TV service and its branching into multiple devices.
LRTV Huawei Video Resource Center
Sony Marketing Director Olivier Bovis Discusses the Outlook for 4K and Cooperation With Huawei at IBC 2014

1|20|15   |   6:50   |   (0) comments


At IBC, Olivier Bovis, Marketing Director of Sony, speaks about the coming of the 4K era.
LRTV Huawei Video Resource Center
Huawei Pay-TV Partner Envivio, Helping Carriers Accelerate 4K Video Deployment

1|20|15   |   2:57   |   (0) comments


At IBC, Olivier Bovis, Marketing Director of Sony, speaks about the coming of the 4K era.
LRTV Huawei Video Resource Center
Pay-TV's Networked Future

1|20|15   |   6:29   |   (0) comments


At IBC, Jeff Heynen, Principal Analyst at Infonetics, speaks about the future of the pay-TV industry and its transition.
LRTV Huawei Video Resource Center
Jeff Heynen: Distributed Access Will Help MSOs Compete in the Future

1|20|15   |   2:26   |   (0) comments


At IBC, Jeff Heynen, Principal Analyst at Infonetics, speaks about moving to distributed access and the future trend of cable business.
LRTV Interviews
Cisco Talks Transformation

1|20|15   |   13:02   |   (0) comments


In December 2014, Steve Saunders sat down with Cisco VP of Products & Solutions Marketing Doug Webster at Light Reading's 2020 Vision executive summit in Reykjavik, Iceland. They spoke about Cisco's approach to network virtualization as well as how service providers can begin to monetize high-capacity networks through the end of the decade.
Upcoming Live Events
February 5, 2015, Washington, DC
February 19, 2015, The Fairmont San Jose, San Jose, CA
March 17, 2015, The Cable Center, Denver, CO
April 14, 2015, The Westin Times Square, New York City, NY
May 12, 2015, Grand Hyatt, Denver, CO
May 13-14, 2015, The Westin Peachtree, Atlanta, GA
June 8, 2015, Chicago, IL
June 9-10, 2015, Chicago, IL
June 9, 2015, Chicago, IL
September 9-10, 2015, The Westin Galleria Dallas, Dallas, TX
September 29-30, 2015, The Westin Grand Müchen, Munich, Germany
November 11-12, 2015, The Westin Peachtree Plaza, Atlanta, GA
December 1, 2015, The Westin Times Square, New York City
December 2-3, 2015, The Westin Times Square, New York City
Infographics
Hot Topics
Google Continues Gigabit Expansion
Jason Meyers, Senior Editor, Gigabit Cities/IoT, 1/27/2015
Comcast Apologizes to 'A**hole' Brown
Mitch Wagner, West Coast Bureau Chief, Light Reading, 1/29/2015
Cablevision's New WiFi Try – Freewheeling Enough?
Mari Silbey, Independent Technology Editor, 1/26/2015
Overture Builds on NFV Foundation
Mitch Wagner, West Coast Bureau Chief, Light Reading, 1/27/2015
US Ops Spend $32.5M to Bring 4G to Chicago's Subways
Sarah Thomas, Editorial Operations Director, 1/30/2015
Like Us on Facebook
Twitter Feed
Webinar Archive
BETWEEN THE CEOs - Weekly Executive Interview
Join us live for Light Reading's interview with Jay Samit, the newly appointed CEO of publicly traded SeaChange International Inc. With a resume that includes Sony, EMI, and Universal, Samit brings a reputation as an entrepreneur and a disruptor to his new role at the video solutions company. Hear what he has to say about the opportunities in video, as well as the outlook for cable, telco, OTT and mobile service providers.