& cplSiteName &

Cheap Laughs With Larry

Column
Column
Column
10/31/2002
50%
50%

A name can be a funny thing.

Especially if it's Gopi Gopinath.

The funny name is a hallowed American tradition. From Goody Garlick, the Wicked Witch of East Hampton, to Armand Hammer, the People's Plutocrat – a good laugh at a truly silly name has provided solace for many a citizen in troubled times. Heck, we even elected a President named Dick Nixon, of all things – and not once, mind you, but twice! (Talk about troubled times...)

So, as telecom descends further into its long, dark night of the soul, what better way to leaven the mood than to have some lighthearted fun with a few really unfortunate monikers? Where have you gone, Jag Bolaria? A nation turns its lonely eyes to you. Woo ooh ooh!

Now, we know what you're thinking: It's cruel – not to say, infantile, puerile, and oafish – to pick on people just because of their names. Didn't they suffer enough abuse in the schoolyard? We shouldn't kick these poor unfortunates while they're down, right?

Wrong! That's why they hired me.

Some of the names that are flung through my cage each day are simply so mind-boggling, so rib-tickling, so, indeed, toe-tapping, that I feel obliged to share them with you, Oh Best Belovèd. Some, it's true, simply suffer from their miserable, benighted foreign roots: No doubt, Pekka Kykkänen (of Liekki Oy!) barely raises an eyebrow in Helsinki, the Buenos Aires of the Subarctic. And Anil Gupta surely does not, on the Subcontinent, call to mind a hemorrhoid ointment.

But what, as they say, the heck? We're laughing at these people. Not with them.

So it is that Light Reading presents, for your mean-spirited amusement, Larry's Top 25 Funniest Names in Telecom. We urge you to enjoy them responsibly.

[Any resemblance between these names and those of actual telecommers, living or dead, is purely noncoincidental. The names have not been changed to protect the innocent. Nobody is innocent!]

  • 25: Matt Massengill, Western Digital
    Feels springtime fresh all day!

  • 24: Phil Turtle, Turtle Consulting
    Ably assisted by Benjy Bunny and Danny Duck.

  • 23: Alistair Impey, Telstra Research
  • 22: Ransom Love, Caldera
    All models are 18 or older.

  • 21: Hava Volterra, CyOptics
    ...is better than none!

  • 20: Nir Zuk, OneSecure
    Merciless Overlord of the Planet Mung.

  • 19: Matt McCool, NorthStar Communications
    And the Uptown Hep-Cats.

  • 18: Yannick Teriierooiterai, Tikiphone
    Does that come with fresh pineapple?

  • 17: Riikamaria Paakkunainen, Wireless Entertainment Services Finland
    I'd like to buy seventeen vowels, please, Vanna!

  • 16: Detlef Spang, Equant
    Spaaannnggg!

  • 15: Gorka Uranga, EF International
    Step right up! See him eat glass! Watch as he drives nails with his head!

  • 14: Ultan O'Raghallaigh, Tsunami Photonics
    The dance craze that's sweeping the Emerald Isle!

  • 13: Canning Fok, Hutchison Whampoa
    And yo momma, too!

  • 12: Rusty Cumpston, Ciena
  • 11: Harry Hamster, Xanoptics
    Not to be confused with the popular rodent food.

  • 10: Sabine Schmuck, ControlWare
    So... you're related to the Schmucks of New Jersey?

  • 9: Boonchai Bencharongkul, DTAC
    Symptoms may include rash, palpitations, and explosive diarrhea.

  • 8: Ferit Yegenoglu, Isocore
    First, we skin and clean one medium-sized weasel...

  • 7: Dick Sweatt, CloudShield
    And who hasn't had that problem?

  • 6: Johnson Agogbua, BroadBand Office
    Anyone called "Johnson" is automatically funny. Anything else is a bonus.

  • 5: Harry Quackenboss, BrightLink Networks
    If it waddles like a boss and swims like a boss...

  • 4: Nicholas de Quetville Le Querot Crapp, Goldman Sachs
    Aw... the Hell with it...

  • 3: Honest Hwang, 3C Tae Yang
    Just what this country needs: a good, honest hwang!

  • 2: Ofer Gneezy, iBasis
    The mysterious eighth dwarf.

  • 1: Dr. Lampros Kalampoukas, Xebeo Communications
Happy Halloween, Boys and Girls!

Larry Larry bo Barry
Banana bana fo Farry
Me my mo Marry...


— Larry, Monkey, Light Reading
www.lightreading.com

(9)  | 
Comment  | 
Print  | 
Newest First  |  Oldest First  |  Threaded View        ADD A COMMENT
Duke_of_URL
50%
50%
Duke_of_URL,
User Rank: Light Beer
12/4/2012 | 9:26:14 PM
re: Cheap Laughs With Larry
Kirby "Buddy" Pickle, former CEO of Velocita.

Am I the only one who hears 70's porn music when saying this out loud?
Commentator
50%
50%
Commentator,
User Rank: Light Beer
12/4/2012 | 9:26:09 PM
re: Cheap Laughs With Larry
Antti Kokkinen from Nokia Ventures - say no more!
rzerockzeron
50%
50%
rzerockzeron,
User Rank: Light Beer
12/4/2012 | 9:25:43 PM
re: Cheap Laughs With Larry
Finally!

LR is back in its purest form. Cheap laughs are the best there are, especially in these troubled times...

That said, we get our daily dose by watching the Corvis boards and the Reindeer/Dave77777 wars...

Keep up the good work. No serious stuff please.

RZ.
gea
50%
50%
gea,
User Rank: Light Beer
12/4/2012 | 9:25:40 PM
re: Cheap Laughs With Larry
Didn't he battle the Fantastic Four in Issue 214?
lightwork
50%
50%
lightwork,
User Rank: Light Beer
12/4/2012 | 9:25:24 PM
re: Cheap Laughs With Larry

You guys forgot Woody Cannon, from Kestrel
buliwyf
50%
50%
buliwyf,
User Rank: Light Beer
12/4/2012 | 9:25:18 PM
re: Cheap Laughs With Larry
>Keep up the good work. No serious stuff please.
Do you really believe no news is good news?
rzerockzeron
50%
50%
rzerockzeron,
User Rank: Light Beer
12/4/2012 | 9:24:55 PM
re: Cheap Laughs With Larry
No, good news are good news.

But in the event of no news, I'd like stupid news.

RZ.
Larry, Monkey
50%
50%
Larry, Monkey,
User Rank: Light Beer
12/4/2012 | 9:24:48 PM
re: Cheap Laughs With Larry
Bob Noseworthy, 10 Gigabit Ethernet consortium manager at the University of New Hampshire
Qazxsw21
50%
50%
Qazxsw21,
User Rank: Light Beer
12/4/2012 | 9:22:11 PM
re: Cheap Laughs With Larry
Don't miss out on VPIPhotonics' marketing guru Corrie Dangler, either.
More Blogs from Column
WiFi is offering a challenge to the network-centric cellular status quo and that's something that mobile network operator CEOs recognize, believes Devicescape CEO Dave Fraser.
NFV can bring operational headaches as well as operational gains, argues Andy Huckridge.
5G is about so much more than just very high bandwidth and low latency – and SDN is going to play a key role in enabling 5G full potential, argues ONF Executive Director Dan Pitt.
To ensure the best possible customer experience, service providers must find ways to make more performance metrics available to users.
How cable operators can prepare to grasp the mobility opportunity.
From The Founder
Download our complete guide to de-risking NFV deployment in 2016, including:
  • An eight-step strategy to deploying NFV safely, based on input from the companies that have already started virtualizing their production networks.
  • Interviews with leading executives at Colt, AT&T, Deutsche Telekom, Cisco, Nokia, ZTE, Ericsson and Heavy Reading.
  • Flash Poll
    Live Streaming Video
    Prepping for the Future: Upskill U Explained
    During this short kick-off video, Doug Webster, Vice President of Service Provider Marketing, Cisco, and Light Reading’s CEO & Founder Steve Saunders give an overview of Upskill U.
    LRTV Interviews
    AT&T Expert on the Key Pillars of UC

    4|29|16   |   03:58   |   (0) comments


    Vishy Gopalakrishnan, AVP of product marketing at AT&T, talks about the three developments that are making unified communications and collaboration secure and reliable for enterprise users.
    LRTV Documentaries
    LRTV Report: Mobile Core Innovation

    4|28|16   |   25:32   |   (0) comments


    Hear from multiple industry experts from Deutsche Telekom, SK Telecom, Heavy Reading, Huawei, Cisco, Ericsson, Nokia, NEC and many more about developments in the mobile core as operators virtualize their IMS and evolved packet core systems and prepare for a 5G world.
    LRTV Huawei Video Resource Center
    NFV World Congress Highlight

    4|26|16   |     |   (0) comments


    The highlight of the NFV World Congress contains exciting telecom news. Join us for an inside look at Huawei's ICT 2020 plan and its latest collaboration with industry leaders.
    LRTV Interviews
    Unified Comms Finds Its Voice

    4|25|16   |   03:44   |   (0) comments


    Peter Quinlan, VP of UCC Product Management at Tata Communications, talks about the evolution of the unified communications and collaboration services sector and how voice is now a big part of current developments.
    LRTV Documentaries
    So... What Do We Do Now?

    4|25|16   |   03:24   |   (0) comments


    After a long hiatus, Max Dingman, the CEO of a GeeGhiz, returns for a motivational board room pep talk.
    LRTV Documentaries
    NAB 2016 Highlights

    4|21|16   |     |   (0) comments


    Light Reading's Cable/Video Practice Leader Alan Breznick climbs down from the slots to tell us about the latest news in broadcast technology at NAB 2016 in Las Vegas.
    Between the CEOs
    CEO Chat: Deepfield's Craig Labovitz

    4|21|16   |     |   (0) comments


    In this latest installment of the CEO Chat series, Craig Labovitz, co-founder and CEO of Deepfield, sits down with Light Reading's Steve Saunders in Light Reading's New York City office to discuss how Deepfield fits in with the big data trend and more.
    Shades of Ray
    Leading Lights 2016: Shortlists Announced

    4|20|16   |   0:53   |   (0) comments


    The judging is over and the Leading Lights 2016 shortlists have been published -- you can see who made the cut by clicking on this link.
    LRTV Custom TV
    Introducing MulteFire – Qualcomm at MWC 2016

    4|18|16   |   3.29   |   (0) comments


    MulteFire is the latest option for using LTE in unlicensed spectrum. As oppose to its close 'siblings', LAA and LTE-U, MulteFire operates solely in unlicensed spectrum, which enables it to offer the best of two worlds – LTE-like performance with WiFi-like deployment simplicity. In this interview, Sanjeev Athalye, Sr. Director, Product Management at Qualcomm ...
    Between the CEOs
    CEO Chat: Grant Van Rooyen of Cologix

    4|18|16   |     |   (0) comments


    Grant van Rooyen, president and CEO of Cologix, sits down with Steve Saunders, founder and CEO of Light Reading, in the vendor's New Jersey facility to offer an inside look at the company's success story and discuss the importance of security in the telecom industry.
    LRTV Huawei Video Resource Center
    ONS 2016 – Demonstration of Huawei's NetMatrix Multi-Vendor SDN Orchestrator

    4|15|16   |     |   (0) comments


    This demonstration shows how Huawei's NetMatrix SDN Orchestrator (SDN-O) addresses an operator's core service agility needs for services spanning multi-domain, multivendor networks: it includes a demonstration of:
    - Rapid New Service Design: using YANG to model a complex example of multi-domain, multivendor L3VPN network connectivity service that ...
    LRTV Custom TV
    AT&T Wants to Own North Carolina

    4|15|16   |     |   (1) comment


    Venessa Harrison, president of North Carolina for AT&T, tells how the company will expand its GigaPower service beyond the seven N.C. cities it already serves.

  • This blog, sponsored by AT&T, is the second part of a ten-part series examining next-generation broadband technologies titled "Behind the Speeds."
  • Upcoming Live Events
    May 23, 2016, Austin, TX
    May 23, 2016, Austin Convention Center
    May 24-25, 2016, Austin Convention Center, Austin, TX
    September 13-14, 2016, The Curtis Hotel, Denver, CO
    December 6-8, 2016,
    June 16-18, 2017, Austin Convention Center, Austin, TX
    All Upcoming Live Events
    Infographics
    A new survey conducted by Heavy Reading and TM Forum shows that CSPs around the world see the move to digital operations as a necessary part of their overall virtualization strategies.
    Hot Topics
    Ultra-Broadband Summit, Hong Kong
    Iain Morris, News Editor, 4/27/2016
    WiCipedia: Woman Cards & Bitch Switches
    Sarah Thomas, Director, Women in Comms, 4/29/2016
    Mitel Asks: What Time of Day Do You Shower?
    Mitch Wagner, West Coast Bureau Chief, Light Reading, 4/25/2016
    GoT Fans Curse HBO (Not Right) Now
    Mari Silbey, Senior Editor, Cable/Video, 4/25/2016
    FCC Poised to Re-Regulate Wholesale Access
    Carol Wilson, Editor-at-large, 4/28/2016
    Like Us on Facebook
    Twitter Feed
    BETWEEN THE CEOs - Executive Interviews
    In this latest installment of the CEO Chat series, Craig Labovitz, co-founder and CEO of Deepfield, sits down with Light Reading's Steve Saunders in Light Reading's New York City office to discuss how Deepfield fits in with the big data trend and more.
    Grant van Rooyen, president and CEO of Cologix, sits down with Steve Saunders, founder and CEO of Light Reading, in the vendor's New Jersey facility to offer an inside look at the company's success story and discuss the importance of security in the telecom industry.
    Animals with Phones
    Live Digital Audio

    Of all the tech companies in the Valley, Intel has made the most aggressive commitment to building a diverse and inclusive workplace culture. It's doing so by taking concrete, measurable steps, making a large financial investment and through a commitment to complete transparency about its progress. In this radio show, WiC Director Sarah Thomas will be joined by Shlomit Weiss, Intel's Vice President, Data Center Group, and General Manager of Networking Engineering, who will share with us why Intel is tackling this huge challenge, how and to what effect. She will also discuss her unique experiences leading development of Client SOC development in the past and today leading development of all of the chipmaker's silicon hardware for networking IPs and discrete devices and managing a team of 600 engineers across Israel, Europe and the US.