& cplSiteName &

Breaking Through Bias in Next-Gen Comms

Andrea S. Kramer
4/6/2017
50%
50%

As a woman in the traditionally male next-gen communications industry, you face gender stereotypes that discount your abilities and gender biases that discriminate against your career advancement. Your goal, therefore, is to take control of your career and confront these stereotypes, overcome these biases and achieve the full measure of success to which your talent, hard work and ambition entitle you. To achieve this, communication is key. You must be able to show your competence, confidence, career commitment and leadership ability, without being viewed as aggressive, abrasive or unpleasant.

We call this double-bind the Goldilocks Dilemma. Women are seen as too soft (likable but not confident) or too hard (competent but not likable), but rarely just right. You can overcome the Goldilocks Dilemma with verbal and nonverbal behaviors. These can easily be mastered once you understand how gender stereotypes prevent your true abilities from being recognized and acknowledged simply because you are a woman.

Let's look at traditional gender stereotypes. Stereotypes tell us that men are (and are expected to be) independent, competitive, decisive, aggressive, strong, action-oriented and unemotional. Women, on the other hand, are (and are expected to be) kind, caring, pleasant, modest, supportive and sensitive.

Women and men are socialized from early childhood to conform to gender stereotypes. Thus, men tend to be comfortable promoting themselves, praising their accomplishments, recounting their strengths and making their career and compensation expectations known. While women tend to speak and write about themselves tentatively and with diffidence, often downplaying their personal contributions, hesitantly recounting successes and downplaying career goals and compensation expectations.

When women start their careers with skills and ambitions similar to men, they do not advance as fast or as far as men, they leave careers earlier than men and generally report a lower level of career satisfaction than men. Women who conform to traditional gender stereotypes are viewed as pleasant and likeable but lacking the drive, presence and ambition of their male counterparts. But when women consciously ignore this gendered-communication script and behave in ways that violate traditional female stereotypes by explicitly displaying the characteristics of an effective, competent, confident leader, they are often seen as unpleasant, abrasive and unlikable. In other words, if a woman conforms to gender stereotypes, she is dismissed; if she violates them, she is socially isolated, penalized in her professional and social relationships and viewed as unlikeable.

Using impression management techniques to convey confidence and competence without triggering a negative backlash is one option in taking control of your career in today's gender-biased workplace. We call this attuned gender communication. You can communicate articulately and with force, or in open, collaborative ways. Neither of these communication patterns needs to be tentative, hesitant or diffident; they are simply impression management techniques you must master in gender-biased workplaces. Different situations require different communication styles. Attuned gender communication does not require you to communicate in any single way. Incorporating attuned gender communication into your communication tool kit allows you to choose to conform to traditional gender stereotypes or violate them. In doing one, or the other, or both, you can effectively overcome the Goldilocks Dilemma.

Communicating in an articulate, engaging and friendly way does not make you less womanly or less like yourself, but it does help you overcome the Goldilocks Dilemma. Speaking and writing with strength and warmth -- while presenting ideas in ways that do not trigger gender bias -- allows you to get ahead in your career.

Here are some simple "do's" and "don'ts" to consider:

  • Use your voice to create the impression you want. The way you speak plays a far more important role in the impressions you make than the actual substance of your ideas and opinions.
  • Make your verbal behavior powerful. Use relaxed, deep breaths to project your words and speak with power; use your diaphragm, lungs, mouth and nose when you speak; open your mouth and pronounce your words clearly; pause at key moments, such as just before or right after an important point.
  • Speak directly and avoid ambiguity. Make points clearly to avoid any confusion or misunderstanding on the part of your listeners.
  • Don't use uptalk, a passive voice, hedges or tag questions that make you sound uncertain about your ideas, positions and beliefs.
  • Don't use weak spoken or written language. Don't use self-deprecating statements, such as "I may be off base" or "I am not an expert on this topic."
  • Say "I'm sorry" only when you have something to apologize for, not to connect with other people or water down your statements and requests so you don't appear "too hard."

Once you have implemented some of these techniques, let us know if you sense any change in your perceptions of yourself and other people's responses to you. Share your experiences with us at www.AndieandAl.com.

— Andrea S. Kramer and Alton B. Harris, Authors, Breaking Through Bias: Communication Techniques for Women to Succeed at Work

(1)  | 
Comment  | 
Print  | 
Newest First  |  Oldest First  |  Threaded View        ADD A COMMENT
Sarah Thomas
50%
50%
Sarah Thomas,
User Rank: Blogger
4/6/2017 | 9:30:56 AM
IEEE WIE event next month
Alton and Andrea will also be speaking at our partner, IEEE WIE's upcoming event in San Jose on May 22-23. You can find out more and register to attend here: http://ieee-wie-ilc.org/
Women in Comms Audio
Archived Audio
Twitter Feed
Women's Watercooler
Discussion Boards
May 9, 2017 11:13:04 AM
UN Women HeForShe
spc_Dunphy
April 27, 2017 1:54:38 PM
Do you know women in tech?
Sarah Thomas
March 5, 2017 12:08:01 PM
Swedish Mansplaining
ErynLeavens
March 3, 2017 3:24:50 PM
Women's History Month
Sarah Thomas
February 24, 2017 12:15:59 PM
The career-break penalty
Sarah Thomas
February 17, 2017 10:25:33 AM
Risk taking differences
Sarah Thomas
February 17, 2017 9:51:21 AM
Upcoming WiC Events!
Sarah Thomas
January 11, 2017 12:47:08 PM
Chatbots: a big opp for women?
Sarah Thomas
Contribute Here
Women in Comms Poll
WOMEN IN COMMS: SHARE YOUR STORY WITH US
WiC wants to hear your stories, experiences and impressions of the comms industry.

Take our short survey here!
Infographics
Women in Comms Video
LRTV Documentaries
BCE 2017: Intel's Take on Network Transformation

5|24|17   |     |   (0) comments


In this BCE 2017 keynote, Lynn Comp discusses Intel's vision for areas such as analytics, automation and service assurance. For more videos and BCE coverage, see http://www.lightreading.com/bce.asp.
Women in Comms Introduction Videos
How Diversity Helps Comcast Mirror Its Customer Base

4|26|17   |   2:55   |   (0) comments


Diversity brings innovation, creative ideas and a way to reflect the broad spectrum of your customer base, Comcast Director of Customer Experience Jenelle Champlin says.
Women in Comms Introduction Videos
Vodafone's Eubank on Sponsors, Mentors & Moving On Up

4|19|17   |   4:25   |   (0) comments


Vodafone America's Head of Operations Kimberly Eubank breaks down the difference between a sponsor and a mentor and shares why both made a big difference in her career.
Women in Comms Introduction Videos
Tech Maverick Shares Her Tips for Gender Inclusivity

4|12|17   |   7:28   |   (0) comments


Wendy Hall Bohling, a corporate escapee, author and gender exclusivity consultant, tells her story of sexism, bias and progress along the road to gender equality in the workforce.
Women in Comms Introduction Videos
Why Mentoring's a Must for Intel's Jeni Panhorst

4|5|17   |   8:02   |   (1) comment


Jeni Panhorst from Intel's Network Platforms Group explains why you should embrace mentoring of all kinds -- from being a mentor to having one to counter-mentoring and pulling up the next generation.
LRTV Custom TV
Mastercard: 2 Billion Adults 'Trapped' in Cash Economy

3|21|17   |   03:51   |   (1) comment


Despite advances made in the last several years, two billion adults around the world are trapped in a cash economy and lack what we take for granted -- a safe way to receive, save and use money. Shamina Singh, executive vice president of sustainability and president of the Mastercard Center for Inclusive Growth, chats about how Mastercard is developing new ways to ...
LRTV Custom TV
Mastercard: Payment From Every Device

3|21|17   |   5:55   |   (0) comments


A world where everything and everyone is connected creates new points of interaction for commerce. These digital experiences cannot be developed in isolation and instead require an ecosystem to drive mass consumer and enterprise adoption and create better consumer engagement. Predicting when that growth will happen is difficult, but always keeping the end user in ...
Women in Comms Introduction Videos
NetNumber's CMO Shares Her Diversity Do's

3|21|17   |   3:19   |   (2) comments


The telecom industry is transforming the world, and diversity plays a critical role in driving the innovation behind it. NetNumber CMO Kim Gibbons shares why diversity and being authentic is a do amidst all the don'ts women in comms often hear.
LRTV Interviews
OrbTV: Tele2 CEO on Industry 4.0

3|10|17   |   6:45   |   (0) comments


Allison Kirkby, president and group CEO of Tele2, spoke with Ray Le Maistre, editor-in-chief of Light Reading, about the fourth Industrial Revolution, the impact it will have on businesses and society in general and the challenges it will bring for service providers.
LRTV Documentaries
Name That Acronym

3|1|17   |     |   (6) comments


From AT&T to ZTE, we hit the show floor at MWC to see how well attendees know their industry acronyms.
LRTV Documentaries
Twilight Star Authors AI Paper

1|24|17   |   00:46   |   (0) comments


Actress Kristen Stewart, best known for starring in the Twilight movies, has co-authored an academic paper on the use of artificial intelligence (AI) in a short film she has directed.
LRTV Interviews
Heavy Reading: The Changing Data Center Landscape

1|12|17   |   6:05   |   (1) comment


At Light Reading's 2020 Vision event in Rome, Heavy Reading's Senior Analyst Roz Roseboro talks about how virtualization is impacting data center evolution and how that evolution is affecting the relationship between service providers, data center operators and public cloud providers.